A woman complained to a pharmacist that the fleet enema she purchased was not relieving her constipation at all. Baffled, the pharmacist asked, " How did you use it?" To which the answer was, " I drank it." Dear me, she drank 118 ml of it!
" WOW THE CRAMPS," is Melissa's* comment on her first and only painful enema. " Look for a brand that says no cramps," she advises. She would rather use laxatives since then.
As for satisfied users:
"It's explosive so take a little at a time."
"Don't stray from the toilet."
"I am an IBS sufferer and have been using it for 35 years."
A constipation remedy taken orally has to travel a distance about six times my height to take effect in the colon. Even though the anus is supposed to be the "exit", it is the only "short cut" to the colon. Putting liquid through my "exit" to induce bowel movement is an enema.
The device used in conveying the liquid in modern times is usually in the form a nozzle connected to an enema bag via a tube, small disposable bottle with a nozzle or a syringe bulb. Folks who are willing to pay more to let a colon therapist do the job find the nozzle connected to a machine which has a transparent tube. This transparent tube is like a TV screen, one that broadcasts only whatever is expelled from the colon it is attached to.
Liquid, the media essential in evacuating the bowel, is of many interesting but not all necessarily sane choices : Distilled water, mineral oil, saline solution, soap, milk, coffee, beer, alcohol and other bizarre stuff. To compare results of different liquids, read zug.com
This is a messy business. Get ready toilet paper and a towel. If the liquid is stored in a small bottle and you don't like it cold in your butt, put the bottle in hot water 40 Celsius prior to use. I personally think it's best to sit on the toilet bowl if you can work out how to hang the darn bag at the right height. If not, lay on a towel in a fetal position on the left. Why left? That's where the colon descends towards the rectum. Insert device into anus, let the liquid flow in and cover with toilet paper to prevent spillage. Hold on for a while. Then...glorious relief.
Don't Overdo It
Above is Chinese for enema, read from left to right as " guan chang ji". The first word "guan" means to force somebody to drink. "chang" means the colon, "ji" is medicine. Literally "guan chang" is to force your colon to drink. We all know that we can force a person to drink something he dislikes once or twice. Doing it too often it becomes a form of abuse...eh?
It is generally safe for most people** to use enema(s) once in a while. Regular use can result in dependency : the rectum ceases to send signals to the colon even if it is full of stool. When this happens a lot of conscientious effort such as consuming more water, fibre, bulk-forming laxatives and doing exercises is required to retrain your bowel. Coming to think of it, the dear sphincter around the anus all the way up to the lining wall of the colon are very delicate. Frequent intrusion of foreign nozzle and solution can cause injury. Therefore there are good reasons this form of quick relief should be the last resort to treat constipation.
*not her real name.
**Some people who should not use enemas are for example 1. children under the age of 2 years and 2. people with kidney or heart disease.